I HATE THE SPRING

Ok, don't lynch me for saying it, but I hate the Spring. I know that EVERYONE loves Spring, especially when you live up north and have suffered through a long cold winter, but not me. It may honestly be my least favorite season. Don't get me wrong, I don't like winter, either. Spring, though. really gets my dander up.

There is seriously a Tard, the grumpy cat, for every occasion!

Here are the top 3 reasons I hate this coming season:

1. SPRING FORWARD:

Daylight Savings Time Sucks! Benjamin Franklin was a brilliant man, but if I could go back in time and meet him I would stomp on his gouty foot! I am not a morning person under the best of conditions and when you take an hour away from me, watch out.
In the Fall when we gain an hour I end up being something somewhat resembling a human in the morning for a few days. Then my body adjusts and I am return to my usual Snorebeast McGrouchyPants. You take an hour AWAY in the Spring and I resemble some kind of fire breathing demon from hell for the next few weeks. No one is safe.
Sure, it is still light in the evening. That is nice. Really. BUT now it is dark when my alarm goes off in the morning. Not cool, people.
And as if it isn't bad enough, this year I have learned that my 10 year old takes after me in this way. She might even be SCARIER than me in the mornings now. While my 8 year old has always made a habit of being up before dawn and is still all chipper and adorable in the morning, her sister and I can barely form the grunting noises we use to communicate in the morning. It has been a hell on earth around here for the last week.

2. SPRING CLEANING:

Growing up in Oklahoma I knew of the concept of Spring cleaning. My mother would open up the house and let the fresh air in and do a good cleaning, of course. I never really understood the importance of this concept, though, until I moved to New England. After being shut ins for months on end the house becomes quit a mess. 

For my Southern friends, let me explain. There are no "nice" days in the Winter up here. We can't really get the kids out of the house to play all Winter. Also, for us working moms, we come home after dark all winter. I know some people who will still do all their chores, but for me, cooking dinner and maybe doing a load of laundry is the most you get out of me on a Winter work day. As far as I am concerned darkness = relaxing. 

Since we are shut in anyway we do most of the cleaning on the weekends. Even then, though, I find that in the winter I do just what is needed to get by: laundry, dishes, sinks and toilets, and an occasional vacuum. On top of all this we have tons of rain and snow tracking in mud, sand, salt, and all number of other things into the house that even the most OCD housekeeper has trouble staying on top of. 

There are also all number of boots, coats, scarfs, hats, gloves, snow pant, long underwear, mittens, ear muffs, and dozens of other winter items I never had true need for in my childhood, all cluttering up the front closet/mudroom/entry/floor...whatever you use. When Spring arrives you have decisions to make. Save this years clothes and hope they still fit next year or give them away? Pack away now or wait a few more months JUST IN CASE. (No matter what you decide there is ALWAYS one more cold front or snow storm after you pack it all away in the basement.) 

So here it is Spring. You can through open the windows and get some fresh air. AND slave away for at least 2 full weekends, or more, getting your house livable again. 

3. NATURE HATES ME AND I RETURN THE SENTIMENT:

Man-Size? Do they come in Snorebeast-Size? Sold. 

I am allergic to nature. This is not an exaggeration. When I went in for my allergy skin test (after years of getting 4-5 sinus infections a year and being completely unable to breath every Spring) the arm where where did the pollen test immediate swelled up and began to burn. It felt red hot and man, did my biceps looks good! The nurse kind of panicked and I spent an hour slathered in Cortizone cream with an ice pack on my arm before they let me go home.

I also am allergic to things like dust, dust mites, cats (I have 3), dogs, and AIR. So all year long I take Zyrtec. And then about this time every year that just doesn't do the trick. I have to add a nasal spray and sometimes add a special decongestant. I also use a saline nasal cleansing kit to keep my sinus passages somewhat clear. (This is like a neti pot, but it has a bottle that you can squeeze for more water pressure to get through all the gunk.) And even then I usually have a sore throat for a few months, a clogged head and end up with at least one sinus infection every Spring. 

So, there you go. My life for the next few months will be a little bit miserable. And just when it starts to get fun...the humidity will start. Did I mention that I hate the Summer?